You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
