White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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