The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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