My nipple is on Facebook.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
