I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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