Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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