found the other keg... it's in the tree
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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