I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
