I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
