found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
