I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The air was thick with penises
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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