Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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