well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
