Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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