Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
