Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
