She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
