So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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