So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
