I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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