Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you never un-have a 4some
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
