Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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