I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
