i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Panties = found
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
