You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
