she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
