My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He did a backflip because drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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