i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
