Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
