i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
