So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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