he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
