did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
