Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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