They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
