I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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