If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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