yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
