There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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