i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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