I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
