At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
