I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
