I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
