I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
