Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
