Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
