Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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