What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
