p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
