i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
