And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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