so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize