What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
