I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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