forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
