I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
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If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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