peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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