go do what you do best...puke behind churches
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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