just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
