So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's the barista slut.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
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