why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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