all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
