We're facebook friends in real life
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
