I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize