Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
