Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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